Rachael Longoria, MS, LPC, NCC (she/her) is Out Youth’s Director of Clinical & Social Services. She is also an Adjunct Professor of Counseling at St. Edward’s University, President of the Capital of Texas Counseling Association, a PhD candidate at Texas Tech University’s Counseling Education program, and operates a private counseling practice, SpeakEasy Counseling, LLC.

Alok Vaid-Menon once said, “It’s never been about comprehension, it’s always been about compassion.” This quote feels especially important as we head into the holiday season. For LGBTQIA+ youth, this time of year can bring joy but also many challenges.

The holidays often come with more harmful rhetoric and policies that target LGBTQIA+ communities. Many queer and trans youth face higher risks of depression, including seasonal depression, compared to their cisgender, heterosexual peers. Affirming someone’s identity can greatly improve mental health for LGBTQIA+ youth (Riggle et al., 2014; Tordoff et al., 2022). Without support, though, youth in states with anti-LGBTQIA+ policies are more likely to experience bullying and substance use (Watson et al., 2021). The Trevor Project also found that less than 40% of LGBTQIA+ youth feel their home is a supportive space.

Family gatherings and traditions can sometimes bring tension for LGBTQIA+ individuals. Whether you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community or an ally, showing compassion can make a big difference. Here are some tips to help you or your loved ones get through the holidays.

Holiday Coping Tips for LGBTQIA+ Youth

Find affirming spaces. Spend time with people who allow you to be your true self. Safe and supportive environments can make the holidays much easier.
Check in with your emotions. Ask yourself how you’re feeling. Do you need a break? Is there someone you trust to lean on? Have a plan for coping if things get tough.
Follow positive voices online. Make your social media a space that uplifts you. Follow people and organizations that reflect your values and make you feel good about yourself. (Like Out Youth!)
Consider advocacy or activism. If it feels right, take part in actions that support LGBTQIA+ rights. Advocacy can look different for everyone, from speaking up in conversations to supporting policy changes. Choose what feels empowering to you.

Tips for Allies of LGBTQIA+ Loved Ones

Show your support. Let your loved one know you care about them and value who they are.
Ask questions with kindness. Be curious and open to learning about their experiences.
Educate yourself. Learn about LGBTQIA+ topics on your own so your loved one doesn’t have to explain everything.
Be nonjudgmental. Create a space where your loved one feels safe and supported.
Offer affirmations. A simple “I’m here for you” can go a long way.

A Reminder of Your Worth

It’s easy to give compassion to others, but don’t forget to show it to yourself. The holidays can be tough, especially if you’re in a space that doesn’t feel affirming. Here’s your reminder: you are loved, you matter, and you deserve to take care of yourself this holiday season.

Whether you find strength in advocacy, supportive spaces, or allyship, these steps can help make the holidays more manageable. Remember, you are not alone. Out Youth and many other organizations are here to support you through it all.

References:

Gonzalez, K. A., Pulice-Farrow, L., & Abreu, R. L. (2022). “In the voices of people like me”: LGBTQ coping during Trump’s administration. The Counseling Psychologist, 50(2), 212-240.

Johnson, K. C., LeBlanc, A. J., Sterzing, P. R., Deardorff, J., Antin, T., & Bockting, W. O. (2020). Trans adolescents’ perceptions and experiences of their parents’ supportive and rejecting behaviors. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 67(2), 156.

Riggle, E., Gonzalez, K., Rostosky, S., & Black, W. (2014). Cultivating positive LGBTQA identities: An intervention study with college students. Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling, 8(3), 264-281. https://doi.org/10.1080/15538605.2014.933468

Tordoff, D., Wanta, J., Collin, A., Stepney, C., Inwards-Breland, D., & Ahrens, K. (2022). Mental health outcomes in transgender and nonbinary youths receiving gender-affirming care. JAMA Network Open, 5(2), e220978. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2022.0978

Watson, R. J., Fish, J. N., Denary, W., Caba, A., Cunningham, C., & Eaton, L. A. (2021). LGBTQ state policies: A lever for reducing SGM youth substance use and bullying. Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 221, 108659. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2021.108659